After waiting 10 years, our "big day" finally came and went. We kept waiting and waiting for the perfect time in life,.. for life to mellow out, to get that next thing taken care of, and to be able to enjoy the time and process of it. After 10 years, we realized, ...life is never "perfect," its not going to be mellow for years to come, and we're not getting any younger- so lets just do this shiz.
The later part (the reception) turned out lovely- there were lots of laughs and people just seizing the moment it felt, so I do have a lot to be thankful or, but way more went wrong than I'de ever imagined so unfortunately, to me, it wasn't my quite my dream day. I feel terrible saying that even, and many of my guests seemed to enjoy themselves so I should just keep it to myself. Plus when I do speak my truth, people say,.."well it was a wedding, and that just how they go." Or, the annoyingly say, "well then you should have done it this way," or "thats why you should have done this or that." Yeah yeah, f*&% off, I did it the way I did it cuz thats how I wanted it, and its for me to turn around and wish I coulda, woulda, shoulda- so don't teeelll me.Furthermore, if that how weddings go how come I only heard.."that was my best day ever" stories prior too. (o.O) OK, that was a side rant. :o
So I made this Thank You video of the day for my friends and family afterword instead of mailing snail mail thanks you that makes it appear all effortlessly smooth and fun. :)
(^clickable link if you wish to see)
For me, it kinda went a lil more like this ....
... After waiting ten years for the perfect timing we ended up picking one tough year.
... I had finals three days before we left. Can we say stress overload?! N had always planned on enjoying that time. As if!
(I had already set myself back in school by changing majors so I didn't want to add even more
on to that by taking a semester off n then later that one semester hold us back from moving on.)
... I had always dreamed of making my own dress, but one of my classes ended up to be uber time consuming and I tried my hardest to not fail it, thus my dress wasn't priority at the time.
(I did end up getting a B in the class though
:) )
... I eventually, literally last min- as in we got a two hour late start on our trip just so I could try and finish the dress still, finally gave in n let go of that dream, and planned on a back up dress.
: (
.. then, hundreds of miles from home and just two nights before, I realized in my midst of my crazy packing for all four of us and all the wedding stuff, ...I had forgotten to pack that back up dress.
:*(
... I then spent the day before shopping like a mad women with my trooper of a m.i.l. in an out of a gazillions stores hitting up everything from Bloomingdales to Goodwill looking for a dress,...thE dAy bEfOre my wedding!
: (
...Finally, near the end of the day, I found one.
( I ended up getting a vintage dress on Haight street, which was pretty "me" so eventually it
worked out.)
afterword we went out to eat with friends and family
n there I sit thinking, "did that seriously just happen to me?!!"
..wishing I could pretend not!
... then stayed up to 5 in the morning reconstructing the dress to my liking.
... Still running several last minute errands in the morning, and after having a random conversation with an old couple in the elevator about it all, I got back to the hotel room to realize I still had pimple cream on my face. :o
... I was now running late, totally not ready, and had to pay my kids to wear their tuxes.
(o.O)
...instead of setting up before guests arrived and having free time for pictures as planned, I was setting up while they came. Actually, most of them were helping me set up. I dont think most of them minded, but it wasn't quit how I'd image the cookie to crumble and therefor disaster numero whatever by now.
:S
Finally, here was this moment I had always dreamed of
...n there I go, in a rushed state feeling bad I held up my guests up, ...wearing a sweater because it was freezing cold, ...feeling ugly n tired n having a bad hair day on top of it, ...looking down because I suddenly didn't know where else to look,... all while aerating the pretty park in my heels as I went.
Not quite the pretty entrance I had always imagined.
: (
...n there I stand, with mud on my heels, all of us freezing cold in the middle of summer,
and already secretly wishing for a do-over.
Again, not quite the splendid moment I had always imaged.
I wasn't the only one with a crazy beginning to this day though, ridiculousness seemed to be ubiquitous.
(Jessica telling me her story about how they almost didn't make it)
...Part one over, thanks friggen god- now off to the reception,
...finally my list of mishaps ended
.:YAY, clap, clap, cheers:.
now on to some good eats (sum a the best rated thai food in the bay)....
.....drinks...
n lots of good times.....
...n then the night was over; that was that.
I know Im suppose to say marrying my husband was the best part of the day, but it was this..
having the excuse to see
laugh with
love for a minute
and stand by (taken the next day)
..some of the greatest friends life has brought me.
And seeing random people from my life unite was an added bonus :)
Though it wasn't quite the day I planned, I tried my best to just laugh it all off and have as good of a time as I could in the moment as to not completely ruin everything. Truth is, after everyone was gone, I went home like a dog with its tail between its legs. Looking back at my ceremony now feels like that embarrassing awkward moment when you fall in front of people and just want to get up and run home crying, but instead you laugh to make it look a little not so bad.
(o.O) lol
I wish there wasn't so much emphasis on that day to be "the day" as if the world is going to suddenly going to fall apart and get really lame afterword. I had dislike most of the traditions of weddings going in to it, but still had always wanted one anyhow. I didn't want to turn around later in life and wish I would have if I hadn't. So we did, and I'm glad we finally we're able to do so and even more so to be on this side of that. Im super thankful for everyone that was there, as to no matter what was going on in their life, how much it cost, or whatever excuse that could have had, they put it aside and made it possible to be there. I find that extremely humbling and am forever thankful.
It may not have turn day to be the day of my dreams, but more importantly, I know we still go together like peanut butter and jelly, and are still in a faithful, committed relationship, and that's what its all about and what we were there celebrating.
